The Moon & Me

February, 6, 2024.

I have never been too fond of the elephant in the room. 

The elephant in the room dances way too close to the platform edge, pacing frantically with loafers slightly too big for himself, so they click and clack like the corporate ladies on our commute. His strides buoyant & boastful. Affronting to some. He can sense it. He goes out of his way to smile at every person he offends. Noah Fence. He knows something I don't. I'm sure of it.

I too like to embrace discomfort as if it were my first born son. That is probably the only way I relate to the elephant in the room. The elephant in the room is an automated ‘Do Not Reply’ email.  When one speaks another responds and we should rally until the fat lady sings. The mere suggestion that I cannot contribute to this exchange goes against the rules of the world. Just know, you all will be missing out! My response would be so well crafted, 

witty, 

compelling, 

red, black and blue, 

that it will swoon the hearts of many and change the trajectory of the world as we know it. 

Can I speak to the man in charge?

If a tree falls, and nobody is there to hear it, did it make a sound?

Solipsism, the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.

If a tree falls, and I was not there to hear it, did the tree actually fall?

Solipsism holds that knowledge of anything outside one’s own mind is unsure; the external world and other minds cannot be known and might not exist outside the mind. 

Lord, I pray that is not true. 

Crescent moon. I know you see me. 

Be like a crane in the sky. Hook me by the back of my jersey and carry me far, far, away from here.

The last time this happened the stork came to my rescue. He assured me it was not my fault. Swaddled me in muslin cloth and carried me by his beak across the city. I am the furthest thing from lucky. I have never won a raffle. I left in such a hurry, missing slipper, Cinderella. My cocoon simulated the protection of my mothers womb, a false sense of security. But I knew better than to trust it, instinctively anticipating when the other shoe might drop. My cry, a gentle pathetic whimper, crescendoed to a howl. The storks words ran over me like a bubbling brook.

are you okay

anyone you want me to call

you sure that is what he meant

are we going to talk about the elephant in the room

he just does not seem like the type of guy to do that

no i did not mean it like that

where must i drop you off

i don't care where, just fly!

it's just you know how these situations are

loosen up

pucker up

did you think this was a free ride

Bus Driver! Move that bus! Pluck the roots of this shack we have built off of assumptions. I don't care where, just drive!

A nick to the heart. Not even reddit has a remedy for that ailment. In an attempt to silence my trichotillomania, I have torn off every toenail, chewed and swallowed every crescent moon. And left myself with throbbing pains in my head, shoulders, knees and toes. Not forgetting my nose and throat, those stings with salt from the waterboarding and the swallowing. All the swallowing. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I promise.

It was not my fault.

I'm sorry ?

Noah Fence, something struck a nerve. He told me his previous work shoes dug into his heels. The impact left him with craters. Smothered the craters using the dregs of NewBliss blister ointment. The ointment gave him an allergic reaction. He emailed the manufacturers to no avail. His outcry was met with an automated 'Do not Reply' email. So he clicks and clacks in shoes that are too big for him. Hardened socks from the dried up pus, when fresh resembling Ultramel. It began to pour. Overflow with fluid. Summer rain. Thunderstorm. A tree fell.

A stork was found crushed dead beneath it.

I was not there to hear it.

#hvmercionmi