March 12, 2024.
Those familiar with the ugly truth substack will recognise this type of post. My version of show and tell. Focusing specifically on things I've been loving, a lady seldom fixes their mouth to harp on disdain.
Sandwich (iykyk)
Chivalry
Frida Orupabo
Car Ride, 2022.
Having my midriff out
Tuesdays
Walter Van Beirendonck
Baby blue toenails
Tantilizing piece of fiction, I highly recommend.
I am 23 now. This is the first time in my life that the Venn Diagram of people I know (of) consists of rappers, politicians, cashiers, finance bros/gals, addicts, 'unambitious small town folk', nurses, 36 year old bald men, fathers, mothers and divorcees. Really cool. Really Interesting. They all manage to find some common ground in the dimly lit corners of the city. All seem to want the same things. The 36 year old bald man wanted me. That is not the first time I have been in lengthy conversation, with who I identified to be the gay man at the table of suitors, who offered to buy me and the ladies a bottle in exchange for conversation. I hardly ever drink what they buy us. This is my line of work. Conversation with strangers. I would gladly do it pro bono.
We pair off and the man who I presumed to be gay uses my tattoos as a conversation starter. I don't fault him. Most men do. He probes and prods at me like a school experiment and I let it slide due to our allyship. He has tattoos of his own. Tattoo for his daughter and ex wife on his right bicep. Daughter. Ex wife. A smug look on his face. I catch myself holding the not so gay mans bicep, the spell is broken. And all I can do is laugh, because this is how they get you. The not so gay men in the city. I commend the artists line work. He follows up by making a move. Reflexively I tell him about the man I have spent maybe a total of 7 hours with. 5 of those being in my bed. But I refer to him as my husband. Throw some words in like, talented, grounded, a man of God, we are really perfect for each other, you know, want the same things,
Well where is he?
He is just away at sea, I await his return.
I am 23 now. And it is the first time I have been accused of 'clout-chasing'. I try not take offence from anyone whose life has been set up for them like snuggly fit tetris blocks. But I do think it's really cool and really interesting. Because it's true. All I think about is my future and my career,
as a lover/mother/daughter/friend/vessel. And I will never apologise for that. I never thought I would make it to 19.
Hot Cross Buns w/ butter
Marilou Bal
Leftover sushi for breakfast
Flirting with danger
Special mention to I want <3 cried my eyes out to it and the specific lyric, "I am not your hero but I got his desire" !!!
My friends: KJ, Dolla & Mars
Editing and DOCUMENTATION !!!
Consent and Consenting
Comments